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May. 18th, 2007 @ 01:01 pm
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I really need to quit fucking myself over.
I have to be at work at 3:30 and I will be there till 4...a little over 12 hours of busting my ass.
Hopefully it's worth it tonight. If not bring me a tall tree and some rope please. K? thanks.
On a happier note, Thomas is doing wonderful. He's running around the house screaming right now wearing one of daddy's hats. It's cute.
And daddy is crashed out on the couch. Amazing that I'm the one up though, taking care of the kid on 5 hours of sleep having to work a 12 hour shift tonight. Just amazing.I feel:  blah |
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So
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May. 12th, 2007 @ 05:23 am
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how about I slam my head into a wall
REALLY HARD.
the end.I feel:  enraged |
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May. 4th, 2007 @ 04:22 pm
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So I have a headache
Thomas bit my leg yesterday and broke the skin.
The biting thing needs to stop.
I have work tonight and 7:30 and I'm really not looking foward to it.
It would be nice to have a week off, but unfortunately sitting on my ass doesn't pay the bills.
I need to look for a part time, and only work this job on the weekends and the part time during the week so I can finish school.
It's really depressing when you don't know where the hell your life is going.
Tomorrow I'm helping my mom pack shit up. She's finally getting out of the hell hole, thank god. Jason, Thomas and I are probably going to move in with her for a while until we can actually get our place. So from one normal household to another. I really should be content right now.
I mean, I have the internet. Thomas has more than 20 something feet of trailer to run around in. I shouldn't complain.
That's just part of trying to make it in life.I feel:  contemplative |
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Haven't updated this thing in almost a year.
I think the last time I wrote was the day my dad turned off the internet.
Anyway, I've been stressed out to the max.
Got evicted
working too much
thomas driving me crazy. etc etc.
He started walking about 2 months ago and is now almost running. He's growing so fast. School was basically a lost cause...for now.
I couldn't work 10 hour night and have energy to take care of a screaming toddler, and go to school then start all over at 5:30 pm to 4 am....
Hopefully I'll be able to go back soon though.
Anyway, peace. Hope everyone who is still writing on this thing has a nice day.
AubsI feel:  exhausted |
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May. 26th, 2006 @ 09:23 am
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Michelle hunny, I love you.
I'm always here for you.
Your mom is so so proud of the gorgeous, strong, amazing person you've become.
This week has been pretty dull, besides yesterday
I had TWO friends over. I'm not a hermit, yay.
Ediwn came over around 1 and stayed for like 3 hours and we just chilled and talked about the past and he amused Thomas. I missed that kid. Then he left and I came back inside, watched some TV, fed fatty...then I talked to Andrea on AIM. She came over at like 6:45 or so and we sat around for an hour waiting for Jason to get home. He was hanging out with Scott and didnt bother to come tell me that. I still love him though. So Andrea and I went to get food and came back and watched Hercules. Well we didn't really watch, we were busy talking the entire time. I had fun love. Can't wait for another girls night =)
Tuesday Aubrey goes back to school to finish that diploma. I'm not ready to wake up early....and walk for like half an hour.....=( It's got to be done though.
Tomorrow is Ashley's b-day party at 2. So Jason and I will have fun there. Sunday I think we're going to the beach with Kristen for a few hours for a picnic thingy. This weekend should be kicked back. I'm tired so I think I'll fall back asleep for an hour...or so.
<3 AubsI feel:  overwhelmed with thoughts |
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Happy Birthday to Me
Happy Birthday to Me
Happy Birthday dear myself
Happy Birthday to Me
3 more hours until I'm officially 19.
Movies tonight with Jenee and Billy
Dinner with Mommy, Jason and little T
I'm hopefully getting a tattoo this week.
Yippy! =D
Today should be a good day.
P.S. My journal needs a look update, no?
*EDIT*
So I went to foothills today and I start school next Tuesday. Yay for me. First subject that I have to complete is US History, my least favorite. Maybe I'll grow to love it. I'm going to go every day from 8:30 to 12 (I don't have to though, but I need to so I'll complete the course quickly) You only have to go once a week for 4 hours, but that won't cut it for me. Thomas will be in childcare there, but I'm going to check it out first, and if I'm not happy with them he's going with Nicole. Then I'll be applying for jobs EVERYWHERE. So hopefully I'll be working and going to school within the next two weeks. I'm almost there.
May. 22nd, 2006 @ 11:46 am
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Yesterday was fun.
My party rocked and so did everyone who came. You guys are awesome and thankyou for coming and for the cards and gifts. For those of you who missed it because of choir or work, I love you too and wish you could have been there!
Today Jason and I were supposed to go to his aunts for a little get together because his cousin Jenna is in town. Unfortunately now for some reason it's not working out. So we're both a little bummed. We're supposed to help my mom out later, but I still haven't heard from her.
Tomorrow is my actual birthday and we're going to see a movie with Jenee and Billy. Hopefully us girls get our way and get to see Over the Hedge. It is my birthday after all :P Anywho, then after that my mom is going to take us out to dinner (most likely Applebee's or Denny's. I'm not sure which yet. A few people are supposed to stop by who couldn't make it yesterday and I have to give them a call. So tomorrow should be nice. In the morning I have to go over to Foothills to meet with a counselor there....and I haven't decided whether I'm walking...or to call Julie.
I'm very content right now and today has been a good day.
<3 Aubs
May. 21st, 2006 @ 02:12 pm
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Well my birthday is on Monday and my party is this Saturday =D
It's going to be fun. Anyway, things are looking up since my last post. I met with Ms. Hoadley and got my transcripts. Then I have a meeting with a counselor from foothills adult school on my birthday at 9 in the freaking morning..oh well. I was summoned for jury duty on the 7th =( I'm unhappy about that but there is nothing I can do. It will be a good experience though. DMV on the 13th....
After I meet with the counselor it's time to apply for jobs yet again. Now that I'll be enrolled in school I'll have a greater chance of being hired. Hopefully I will be so that I can actually feel like I accomplished something.
I'm trying to actually start hanging out with friends again. Seriously people if you want to just chill or see a movie, let me know alright? I get so bored every day. There's really nothing to do except go outside with Thomas, watch TV, draw, sit on the computer. These activities get boring. Give me a call or message or something and let me know if you want to come by k?
Oh I almost forgot! Jason's cousin Nicole told us that once they fix there ford we can have it. We'll be making payments and everything but we'll finally have a car! It's so frustrating having to arrange rides all the time. It will be nice to just get in my own car and get from point A to point B without much hassle. We shouldn't get our hopes though, because if it's something that can't be fixed then we have to save up to purchase our own used car. It's no big deal if that happens though, we have responsibilities and have to fulfill them. Nicole also informed me that she'll babysit anytime as long as she has 24 hours notice, so once I'm working I've got a full time babysitter, which is a relief because he'll be with somone I know. The downside..is that if I am not illegible for the independent study program at foothills is that he'll be placed in the childcare available there from 7:40 to 12 something while I'm in class. Those people better no what they're doing. I'm so nervous to put him in the care of someone I don't know.
I can't let it stress me out though because I'm trying to relax. I need to sign up for yoga or something. A gym membership would be a nice investment as well, although they're a tad expensive. It's possible though.
I'll be a happy woman if Jason gets home from work earlier today. Then tomorrow, I have to wake up early and get the rec room ready for my party...I'm going to be so tired by the end of tomorrow, I've been up since 5:30 I should get some sleep while the little tyke is out. Enjoy your weekend everyone. If you're coming to my party, see you there =)
<3
May. 19th, 2006 @ 07:59 am
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Well I guess I'm feeling a little better. I still have this sickening frustration building up. It's rather annoying really. There's nothing that I can do about it right now though. I need to get my fucking act together and call hoadley for my transcripts so that I can register with foothills. Otherwise my life will not go anywhere. I don't know what my problem is. I keep talking to my mom about everything I want to do and all the things I know I'm capable of, but for some idiotic reason I won't pull myself together and DO IT. I also want to work part time somewhere, but I won't be able to until I register because when I was originally looking for a job I didn't get accepted anywhere. Why you ask? No highschool diploma. I keep kicking myself for slacking off all those years. Yeah, occassionally I did exceptional work and I would get mostly A's and B's on assignments...but occassionally is not enough. If I had just got off my lazy ass I could have accomplished something. I'm failing Jason, I'm failing Thomas, I've failed my mother....but worst of all, I've failed myself.
May. 5th, 2006 @ 12:20 pm
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| » I don't know what's up with me. |
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Well...
I feel strange. I'm not happy right now and I don't know what's wrong. I need time to think or something. Maybe go for a walk with Thomas tomorrow and let my mind be completely free of any thoughts. I don't know. Possibly I need to take a dance class or something to let some energy out. Once I start working I think I'll do that. Hope everyone has a good rest of the week....anyone want to do something this weekend? Let me know.
May. 4th, 2006 @ 12:55 am
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